The only thing missing from “Nobody’s Fool” is a Christmas tree.

With one, it’d fit nicely in the lineup of holiday films on the Hallmark Channel.

Without it, it’s about as bland as movies (on or off cable) get.

In love with a man she hasn’t met, Danica (Tika Sumpter) carries on a relationship by phone. She can’t see him, either, because he’s in a remote area with spotty Wi-Fi. Never mind she’s a beautiful marketing manager with plenty of options. She hangs in there, waiting for the day when she and the mysterious Charlie finally meet.

Friends think the relationship is strange but the only one who does anything about it is her sister Tanya (Tiffany Haddish), who cries “catfish” the minute she sniffs out the situation. Hauling in the guys from the television show, she all but proves this guy isn’t the real deal – which leaves sis longing for something.

When the owner of a coffee shop (Omari Hardwick) is more than willing to slip in, she’s reluctant, particularly since he has a past that doesn’t quite fit with her profile.

Tanya, however, pushes and, before you know it, “Nobody’s Fool” becomes a romance for those who thought they didn’t have to go to the theater to see something this lame.

Although writer/director Tyler Perry has a great track record, this is so familiar it looks like pages of the script must have included notes to let Haddish improvise.

She brings what laughs it has, even when folks like Chris Rock and Whoopi Goldberg are around.

Goldberg (in what looks like a Joy Behar wig) plays her pot-dealing mom who doesn’t want to get involved in her daughters’ wildly divergent lives. She raises plenty of questions but doesn’t stick around long enough for the film’s good.

Instead, “Nobody’s Fool” is a series of vignettes smooshed together.

Often, Amber Riley (as Sumpter’s friend and co-worker) has to provide the glue, asking questions and laughing at lame jokes.

When the right folks finally get together, “Nobody’s Fool” looks like it could be onto something. Unfortunately, that gives Haddish a reason to disappear.

Like so many Tyler Perry films, this tries to be more than it should. It could have been a simple little romance. Or a rowdy Tiffany Haddish comedy. There’s not enough of either to make it anything of significance. Consequently, “Nobody’s Fool” is nobody’s anything.

Copyright 2018 The Sioux City Journal. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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