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I don’t want to take my parents’ Crown VIC to College

BY RAY MAGLIOZZI

Dear Car Talk:
I’m just starting college, and my
parents have agreed to buy me a
used car. They were going to give
me their car, but I don’t want it.
It’s a Crown Victoria. Get serious.
I want something big enough
to carry four people, capable
of hauling my mountain bike
and fun to drive. What do you
recommend? —Alden
A Crown Vic, Alden. You’ve
heard the expression “don’t look

a gift horse in the mouth”? Well,
my advice would be don’t look
a gift Crown Vic in the engine
compartment. You may not
realize this, but the Crown Vic is
so uncool that it’s cool. I’ll lay out
the advantages.
First of all, it’s going to be
reliable. Your parents were the
original owners and not only
drove it gently, but probably
took good care of it, too. That’s
going to save you a ton of money.
Money that could be better spent
on textbooks and Donkey Kong.
Plus, there will probably be a
guilt factor involved if anything
does go wrong. If the engine
compression plummets — before
your GPA does — they may say,
“Oh, gee, Alden, we gave you a car

with bad compression. We’ll take
care of that for you, son.”
Second, a Crown Vic is large, and
all things being equal, larger is
safer. Since you’re presumably
going to be driving long distances
to school and back, I’d certainly
rather see you in something
with some bulk around it than
something smaller and “fun.”
Third, it’s versatile. I bet your
mountain bike will slide right
into the back seat. It’ll carry you
and four classmates to the library
on Saturday night (right!), and
the trunk will swallow an entire
dorm’s worth of empty kegs.
Finally, your friends are going
to admire it. It’s not the average
Corolla or Subaru that most
students bring to college. It’s a

cruiser. It’s comfortable. Your
friends are going to want to go
out in your Crown Vic instead
of stuffing themselves into their
Honda Civic.
And if all that doesn’t make it
cool, you can mount an auxiliary
spotlight to the driver’s door and
watch the traffic move out of the
way for you when you cruise home
… if you don’t get arrested for
impersonating an officer.
***
Got a question about cars? Write to
Ray in care of King Features, 628
Virginia Drive, Orlando, FL 32803, or
email by visiting the Car Talk website
at www.cartalk.com.
© 2019 by Ray Magliozzi and Doug
Berman Distributed by King Features
Syndicate, Inc.

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