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I miss him so much. I feel like a piece of my heart has
been ripped out. My grandmother told me that because
my older half-sister left with her kids without saying
goodbye to him, it broke his heart, and he is afraid I will
do the same. What should I do? -- MISSING MY DAD IN
NEW YORK

by
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN
©2014 Universal Press Syndicate

LONG LOST FATHER IS
FOUND, BUT THEN QUICKLY
LOST AGAIN
DEAR ABBY: I grew up not knowing who my biological
father was. When I met him for the first time, I was 18.
When we met, I felt I had found a piece of who I was. I
loved him immediately, as if I had known him my whole
life.
We talked and hung out for the next four months until I
moved in with him to escape an abusive relationship. I was
pregnant at the time and spent half my pregnancy living
with him, my stepmother, half-brother and stepbrother. I
moved back in with my mom a few months later.
Since then, my father has cut me off. I have been trying
so hard to get him to talk to me. He hasn’t met my son yet,
rarely responds to my texts and never answers my calls.
I have invited him to every birthday party, sent him cards
for every holiday, and begged him to see me and my son.
It’s been four years now, and I’m heartbroken.

DEAR MISSING: Not knowing your father, it’s
hard to guess his reason for distancing himself from
you and his grandchild. It does appear that he is
punishing you for something. Could he have been
hurt or angry that you chose to live with your mother
rather than stay with him and your stepmother?
Because it has been four years, you may have to
accept that this estrangement will be permanent
and find a way to cope with the loss. If you have a
religious adviser, start there.
DEAR ABBY: My roommate loves watching
documentaries about serial killers, psychopaths and
other criminals. I don’t like them. To me it feels like a
glorification of a person who did evil.
On the flip side, I watch tons of spy movies, superhero
movies and action films that depict violence. But the
distinction lies in that what I watch is fiction. Usually the
good guys win, and if they don’t, it’s temporary.
My roommate gets really mad when I watch or even talk
about the movies I watch, but becomes really defensive
when I compare them to what she watches. My roommate
is very fragile emotionally and cries, withdraws and
shuts down when I do this. The last time, she insinuated

I was less of a person for liking these things. Ultimately,
I felt sorry for bringing it up, and she still refuses to
acknowledge that we are allowed to like different things
without being bad people.
I need to know how to bring up that how she responds
to the things I like hurts me, and communicate that I have
nothing against what she watches, even if it’s not my taste.
How can I communicate my feelings without feeling like
I’m being insensitive for asking her to stop berating me?
-- JUST A MOVIE IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR JUST A MOVIE: The most diplomatic
solution would be for the two of you to agree that
certain subjects of conversation should be avoided
-- this being one of them. And if you can’t agree to
respect each other’s viewing habits without being
judgmental, you should find other roommates as
soon as your lease is up.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known
as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother,
Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.
com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and
getting along with peers and parents is in “What Every
Teen Should Know.” Send your name and mailing address,
plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear
Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 610540447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)
COPYRIGHT 2019 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
1130 Walnut, Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500

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