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by
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN
©2014 Universal Press Syndicate

A CAREER IN LAW
ENFORCEMENT IS LIKELY
TO UPSET FORMER COP

DEAR ABBY: How should I tell my father that
I have chosen a career he never wanted me to
consider? I plan to become a police officer. Abby,
all my life I have felt the call to help people. I
know a career in law enforcement brings with
it the possibility of danger, especially in today’s
climate. But I have always known I would be the
person running toward danger while everyone
else is running away from it. I am passionate
about this, and my wife fully supports it.
The issue is, my father was a police officer. He
hated every minute of it. He has always said he
never wanted me to take that path. I understand
all he wants is to keep me safe. At the same time, I
don’t want to miss out on this career. I don’t want
to spend the rest of my life regretting that I didn’t
follow my heart and do something I know I would

have success with. Should I go through with the
testing and, if I am selected, tell him then? Please
help, because this is keeping me up at night. -FOLLOWING MY HEART
DEAR FOLLOWING: Your father loves
you, but he cannot -- and should not -dictate how you live your life. A career in
law enforcement is not for everyone for the
reason you mentioned. It would have been
helpful if you had explained exactly what it
was about policing that made him hate it,
assuming that he told you.
When he finds out, expect him to be very
upset and possibly angry about your choice.
But I see no reason why you should upset him
before finding out if you qualify for a job in
law enforcement. If you do pass the exams,
give him the news then.
DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law recently asked
me for parenting advice. Our kids are about the
same age, and she has been having issues with her
preschooler’s behavior that I don’t have with my
son.
Abby, the reason her kid is out of control is
she and her husband don’t give him any limits.
They don’t believe in saying “no” and try instead
to “guide him to positive choices.” They never
discipline him, even when he hits or screams at
them, and as a result, he’s mean and disrespectful.
Little kids are uncomfortable with that much
freedom.

Even though she asked, I don’t think my sisterin-law really wants my advice, at least not the
advice I would like to give her. So what do I say
when she asks? It’s clear they need help, but I’m
judgmental and probably not a good messenger. I
tried loaning her a parenting book I’ve used, but it
didn’t take. -- PARENTING ADVICE IN CANADA
DEAR P.A.: Your sister-in-law may simply
be venting her frustration when she dumps
on you. When she asks for advice again,
tell her that because you haven’t faced the
problems she’s encountering, you don’t feel
“qualified” to advise her. Then suggest she
ask her pediatrician for guidance.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also
known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by
her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby
at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los
Angeles, CA 90069.
To receive a collection of Abby’s most
memorable -- and most frequently requested -poems and essays, send your name and mailing
address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S.
funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box
447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and
handling are included in the price.
COPYRIGHT 2019 ANDREWS MCMEEL
SYNDICATION
1130 Walnut, Kansas City, MO 64106;
816-581-7500

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