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He added that he has noticed this issue, and it’s
something he’s been working on for years. What
should I do or say the next time we encounter a
mishap and he becomes angry? -- WONDERING IN
WASHINGTON, D.C.

by
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN
©2014 Universal Press Syndicate

MAN’S EXPLOSIVE ANGER
CAUSES CONCERN FOR
EASYGOING FIANCEE
DEAR ABBY: I’m engaged to a wonderful guy.
He is very sweet, and I’m beyond thankful for him.
I wouldn’t trade him for the world. But he has a
character flaw that’s hard to ignore. When he gets
frustrated, he screams out loud and takes a while to
get himself together.
When he lost his phone on a plane and was angry
for hours, he pouted and scowled like the world
had just ended. I have a very easygoing personality,
and I don’t understand this type of behavior. (He
contacted his phone provider, and a new phone was
delivered to him within 24 hours.)
When I talked to him about his anger, he said
sometimes people get frustrated and show emotions.

DEAR WONDERING: Your fiancé may be a
perfectionist or even have a touch of OCD, which
is why he is so hard on himself when he makes a
mistake and becomes frustrated. For his own sake
(and yours), he needs to find a better way of venting
his emotions.
While anger is something everyone experiences
at one time or another, most people start learning
to control it during childhood. While pouting and
scowling are acceptable, your fiancé “screaming”
over losing his cellphone seems over the top. Not only
that, it is intimidating. My booklet “The Anger in All
of Us and How to Deal with It” contains suggestions
for managing and constructively channeling anger
in various situations. It can be ordered by sending
your name and address, plus a check or money order
for $8 (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby Anger Booklet, P.O.
Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and
handling are included in the price. Your fiancé needs
to learn to channel his emotions more constructively
because if he doesn’t, it may eventually drive others
away. We live in increasingly stressful times. It
takes self-control as well as maturity to react

calmly instead of exploding. Being in touch with his
emotions will not only help your fiancé calm himself
without losing it, it will also help him maintain the
respect of others.
DEAR ABBY: I have a friend and co-worker who
likes to play with my hair, rub my back and put her
hands on me in general. I am not a touchy-feely
kind of person with ANYONE, and it makes me
very uncomfortable when she does this. Is there
a polite way of telling her to stop without making
her feel uncomfortable or hurting her feelings? I’m
not a “beat around the bush” kind of person, and I
sometimes lack the tact of putting things nicely. -NO TOUCHY-FEELY
DEAR NO TOUCHY-FEELY: To express your
feelings would not be lacking in tact; it would be
setting a boundary. Try this: “I like you very much,
and I know the feelings are mutual, but I do not like
to be touched, and I want you to stop doing it.”
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also
known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her
mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at
www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles,
CA 90069.
COPYRIGHT
SYNDICATION

2020

ANDREWS

MCMEEL

1130 Walnut, Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500

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